Tiny Hand



This isn't just an ordinary life update!
This is a VERY ordinary life update!!!

There hasn't been a blog post in all of June. A blogging break for over a month! And why? Because I was busy. Wait, WHAAA? YOU were busy?! Hellz yeah!

Let's stop the clock for a sec and look at a fat-ass, juicy slice of time!
Right now I'm in a shitty kind of gray area between being a student and working as a responsible adult; between asexuality and longing for the D; between insanity induced by stress and being permanently attached to my bed due to sloth-like behaviour.

I got everything I need to finally end this energy-sapping learning phase. Hurray! Most of my recent exams were oral exams (which comes as close to anything oral-related as it gets, hahahuuuu). But even though my professors love my voice and its qualities, are happy with the content I create and think that my answers to their questions meet their expectations, I'm still suuuuper nervous before each exam. I studied 4! damn! years! and I still act as if I'm a startled 13-year-old in front of his judgemental classmates. Whenever I get a new task, I black out and become a lunatic trainwreck!
The only thing that kept me from losing what is left of my sanity was succeeding and shining as the leading role in a live audio play with my fellow students, an adaptation of the fairy tale "Jorinde and Joringel".
People complimented me on my role and our group was happy with the outcome of several weeks full of hustle and bustle. As you can see, I enjoyed the performance. Very much so.

Anyway, I got almost all of the credits I need to wave goodbye to this hellhole of an institution and I even have a topic for my bachelor thesis - everything that's missing are some texts and studies that can help me out.
The more I try to find anything related to CMC (computer-mediated communication) and its influence on current everyday language use (which is a fucking nice topic, if you ask me!), the more I get frustrated.
The more I get frustrated, the more I shut down.
The more I shut down, the more I eat, play games, watch animes and procrastinate in general.
And the more I procrastinate, the more furious I get about my fat lazy ass 
and my inability to focus on my goal.
It's a never-ending spiral of confusion and frustration.
But once I've done all this, I'm gonna celebrate like I've never celebrated before. Champagne, lobster, bitchez, bling and gettin' crunk like no other! MARK MY WORDS!

And as it seems, not-learning and procrastinating are the only things I do in my comfy bed besides eating and sleeping. Nope, no booty hole gets its well-deserved attention. No pole gets polished. Not a single button gets pushed and there's no valve for any kind of tension or pressure.

But Max, you've lost soooo muuuch weight! You look so much better now blahblah there must be a boy for you somewhere blahblah I bet dem boys go crazy for you hahahablahblah!!1!11!!!!
It does make a difference, of course. Weighing over 30kg less than a year ago makes me look like a different person and somewhat comparable to the typical mainstream small town twinkboy. But it's mostly just guys over 40 that would like a piece of some young, inexperienced boy ass that isn't totally worn out. Or guys around the age of 18 which derive from the XD-generation - meaning a generation that has no problems but THINKS it has a shitload of them and which is barely able to write a full sentence without sounding like it misses half of its brain. And unfortunately, the rest of the guys that are interested in me hasn't really been my type, yet.

Which made me think... Since there ain't a guy out there that is really into me as much as I'm into him and since I can't put a ring on my laptop because it doesn't have a finger for it to put on, I should just marry the other thing that's just as close to my heart and that knows how to make me happy!
I've known it for all of my life, we've been through dick and thin, it knows my special places and we're basically already attached to each other!
..."Rightie", darling? Would you... would you share the rest of your life with me, no matter what cums our way?

And so, Max and his right hand lived happily ever after.
(EPILOG: Max' right hand supports him with his bachelor thesis and he finally gets his degree. Yay.)


~music time~

This time, I thought I'd switch it up a bit. I cannot give you a long-ass list of songs that I've found since my last blog post. There are just way too many. So I made a little playlist for you guys! 15 songs from the past 2 months that I've arranged in a beautiful sound bouquet for your hearing pleasure. ENJOY, MOTHAFUCKAS, ENJOY!


Meet Gabi!

And now on National Geragraphic: "Adventures with Max"!

Welcome to "Adventures with Max" - the show where we journey through the streets of Gera to discover and observe rare and unusual wild life! I'm your host Max 'Bearhugger' Wachsmann.

On this week's episode of Adventures with Max, I show you a particularly special being that is shrouded in legend and undocumented - UNTIL NOW!
The weirdus galus psychonensis - also known as the "Gabi"
 Pict.1: A wild Gabi

Rarely out on the street, the Gabi is said to usually camouflage amongst a small group of weirdos and hippies (in this case: shroomies). Since these cliques were nowhere to be found at that time, the Gabi seemed to feel pressured to get out alone and venture out on a walk within the community of us "normal people".

As you can see in Pict.1, the Gabi was utterly surprised to see me. Mainly, because I did not break eye contact with her. I was so intrigued by her coincidental sight that I wanted to take the chance and get near her. My main target was the supermarket behind her, but who can resist the temptation of documenting the behaviour of such an abstract figure?

The Gabi's appearance was of remarkable peculiarity as one can imagine.
Her brown fur (hair) looked messy and scruffy. Some experts say, Gabies shorten their own hair to prevent excessive sweating and overheating in the summer. In this case, the Gabi's hair showed signs of rough cutting with a blunt blade, an axe, or a chainsaw.
The Gabi wore no shoes, a short pair of pants and a loose-fitting tank top which still displayed her ribcage. In her hand she held a small, orange bucket with uncertain content. I tried to identify what was in it, but I couldn't get a look at the inside of the bucket. It might have revealed something - her goals, her conditions, her purpose... But I guess all the information about her background will never be known.
Apart from her excited look and a psychotic, strained grin, the Gabi's face had two further interesting features: an inflamed eyebrow piercing and a missing tooth. The latter contributed to her shaggy look.

Usually very shy, the Gabi talked to me when I walked past her. Really, SHE TALKED! There is no record of the Gabi's ability to talk! I felt very lucky to be the first person to document this outcome.
What I understood was: "You seem like a nice person. You smiled at me. Isn't it a lovely day to chat with someone?"

Here is a video of the Gabi walking by my side:
Video1: The wild Gabi walking next to me and interested in a conversation.

Still, I was not able to look inside the bucket. A shame, really.

Then I suddenly had the urge to get away from her. The look on her face, the fact that she was so open and talktative and the sudden setting were too much, even for an adventurer like me.
I wanted to continue my shopping spree and avoid further contact with the Gabi. Who knows which diseases I could catch from a member of the weirdus galus family? She noticed my impulse and uttered "You're in a hurry, huh?"
When I obviously aimed at a different path, the Gabi finally left with the words that still ring in my head:
"The clouds, think about the clouds! One is laughing, the other one is not!"

What did she mean by that? Is it a code? Can the Gabi see the future? Maybe one needs to distance himself or herself from what sounds like complete nonsense. But maybe we should all worship the twisted mind behind these glassy, twitching eyes and think about laughing and non-laughing clouds...
This was Adventures with Max with your host Max 'Bearhugger' Wachsmann!
Tune in next time to find out more about more about Steve, the entrepreneurial pedophile with a glass eye!

~music time~